Dear Awkward Advice,
I went to see Hunger Games at the midnight premiere! What an awesome movie! Team Peeniss, whoooo! Anyway, while watching the movie, I realized that I would not last long in the Games. I have absolutely no survival skills. Do you have any tips, so that I can be prepared given the inevitable eventuality thatAmericawill be split into districts and the youth of those districts will be pitted against each other in annual brutal gladiatorial battles to death for the entertainment of the ruling powers and wealthy minority? Just wondering. Btw, I totes love Awkward Advice! Team Cassie and Stacey!
Should Have Tried Harder in PE
Dear Should Have,
This is a question that we’ve seen a lot since the hype about Hunger Games started. So, we decided to do some research and watch the movie. Upon cursory examination, we’ve discovered the key to surviving the Hunger Games. They’re nothing new; people have been employing them for years in middle schools and high schools all over the world. Step 1: Wear cool clothes. When Katniss and Peeta ride in on their chariots in those crazy cool duds, you knew they were at least 10 times cooler than everyone else in the arena. Step 2: Become friends with the athletic people. Just like in high school, the jocks were the douchebags. Oops, I meant to say cool kids. So, whether you’re in school or in Panem fighting for your life, stick with them and you’ll stay alive, at least for awhile. 3. Kiss boys. Peeta and Katniss were in pretty rough shape until she had a brainwave to give him a little smooch. Then she was sent medicine that saved Peeta’s life. What we can glean from this is that the most important way to survive in Panem is to just go around making out with a bunch of guys. Hopefully you’ll take these survival tactics under consideration. May the odds be ever in your favor.